Postcards from your children

31 Aug, 2015

By Kevin O’Brien

As a therapist and educator, often I witness the difficulties that Fathers can go through in developing their relationship with their children. It can be a struggle as they juggle their own, and others, expectations of how to be a Dad.

Some of the challenges can include:
  • Feeling pressured to keep getting it right. 
  • Adjusting to the challenges of having children
  • Being expected to provide, play and teach your child
  • Balancing being there for your kids, as well as having time for yourself and significant others.
  • The challenges of developing a deep intimate relationship with your partner. 
When discussing parenting with Dads, the idea of the future is always present in the conversation - concerns about the outcome of the interactions they are having with their children now. The anxiety seems to engulf a lot of the thoughts around being a Dad and getting it right.

If you got a post card from your child 20 years from now what kind of things would you like them to say about you? Postcards from your children is a concept that tries to help dads manage their anxiety and begin to find solutions to build close and intimate relationships with their children. It helps you to explore what kind of a relationship you want with your son or daughter.

In order to achieve this you should ask yourself these key questions:

1). 20 years into the future, you and your child are sitting in café having coffee together. What kind of things would you like your child to say about you? For example thank you dad for always being at my sporting events or thank you dad for being there when things got difficult for me?

2). What is getting in the way of the dream being fulfilled? Explore this, and seeks ways to address what is getting in the way.

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